Akatsuki Drabbles
by IamEnVIOUS
Summary: A collection of one shots featuring the Akatsuki in social outings. Enjoy.
1. We're going to the movies

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

_"Deidara senpai! "_

The blonde male groaned," What is it Tobi?"

"The Akatsuki are going to the movies Deidara senpai!" the masked man cheered.

"...Alright un."

"Yay! We are going to have so much fun senpai!"

"Everyone head to the Akatsuki mobile." said Pein."Alright."

"Can Tobi drive?"

"No Tobi." said Pein," you don't have a license."

* * *

"Why do I have to sit next to him?" Kakazu and Hidan asked in unison.

"Sit down and shut up." said Konan.

"Fine."

"Tobi, stop bouncing ." Pein ordered." Okay leader sama."

"Good, now everyone buckle up."

* * *

"Alright, let's get the tickets and Kakazu, don't complain about the prices."

"I'll t- it's highway robbery!"

"What did I just tell you?" Pein fumed. "But leader-"

"Pay the admission Kakazu."

"...Fine."

"Can Tobi get popcorn?"

"Whaaattt? _Popcorn too?" _Kakazu grumbled." This is will cost a small fortune."

"We rarely go out." Pein stated." Deal with it...what are we seeing again?"

"Bad Grandpa." Kisame answered.

"_Ooohh, Tobi loves the Jackass series! This will be funny!"_

_"It better be for the price we're paying." _Kakazu grumbled.

_After the previews and the movie finally began..._

"Mwhahahahahahahha!"

* * *

"Best movie ever! "cheered Hidan.

"I got to admit it was pretty good." Sasori agreed.

"It was worth the money." Kakazu replied. Everyone stared at the medic." Who are you and where's the real Kakazu?"

"Very funny." Kakazu retorted.


	2. We're going to the beach

Disclaimer:I own nothing.

**Thanks go out to jojo3110 and Kakashi Attacke for the reviews and for the others who will soon follow...**

_"Bill...bill...bill...BILL!" _Pain fumed, clearing his desk in a swift motion.

His blue haired companion entered the room," I know what you need." she said calmly.

" I need a vacation or a day off but with the bills piling up and I don't want to discuss finances with Kakazu right now." folding his arms under his chin.

"It's a beautiful day, why don't we go to the beach?" Konan suggested.

"The beach huh? I like the idea. Tell the others we're going to the beach."

Exiting the room," Good you're all here. " said Pain," I decided we are going to the beach."

"Why not Splash Town instead?" Itachi suggested.

"We don't have the finances right now." Pain replied." What?" Kakazu shrilled.

Pain groaned," Shut up, this is free and the bills are piling up and they will get paid. Everyone be ready in five."

* * *

"It's crowded un."

"I can see that Deidara," addressed Pain," let's find a spot."

"Look at all these people." Zetsu drooled." I'm getting hungry just looking at them."

"Tobi, make sure Zetsu doesn't eat anyone." Konan requested.

"Sorry Zetsu san."

After walking around searching for a spot...Pain was getting frustrated.

"Mommy, look at the green man." said a little girl.

"Honey, don't st- oh my god!"

"Leader, there's a spot." said Zetsu, pointing to a small area near a trash can." Let's keep looking." said Pain.

Women were battling their eyelashes at Itachi, Sasori and Deidara."Would you like to join us?" motioning them over.

"Tobi would love to join you ladies!"

"Well, come on and bring your friends." coaxed one female.

"We have to stick together." Pain ordered," they might lure us in a trap."

"Alright, sorry ladies un."

"Awww..."

Kisame spoke up," I see a spot."

Pain smiled, scanning the empty beach," Good job Kisame."

"Great now we can-" Pain suddenly had a nose bleed, Hidan smirked," A nude beach right next door...my kind of place."

"We're leaving!" Pain commanded.

"Damn it."Hidan grumbled.

"_I'm not letting them seeing Konan in the flesh! "_

_"Why don't you explain the nose bleed leader sama?"_

"I'm the leader, I don't have to!"


	3. We're going bowling

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing.

"What are you watching Tobi un?" the blonde pyromaniac inquired.

"Bowling." then a idea hit him. " We could go bowling senpai! It will be fun!" clapping his hands together.

Dediara had his doubts.

"If Pain agrees, I'll buy you a bowling shirt and shoes un. Pain! Tobi wants to go bowling."

"Bowling you say?...hmm, a good idea Tobi."

"Thank you leader sama..._ohhh Deidara senpai..."_

"Fine, I'll get you a stupid bowling shirt and shoes un." Deidara fumed.

"Why don't we all go to Academy and look for matching shirts?" Pain suggested.

* * *

"Why are we here?" Hidan asked.

"To buy matching bowling shirts." Pain answered.

"Me and shirts go together like water and oil, we don't mix."

"Thank you for the information Hidan."Pain scoffed," let's go in.

"Hi, can I help you?" a employee asked.

"We're here to finds matching bowling shirts." said Konan," we ask if you have red and black shirts?"

"We do, follow me."

"And bowling shoes as well." said Pain.

* * *

"We're done here and we have what we came here for and listened to Kaklazu argue and complain...the Akatsuki are going bowling."

"But leader," said Deidara," we never bowled before un."

"...How hard can it be?"

_And so..._

Konan was up first...

"Seven pins down." she cheered." Not too bad, Deidara you're up next."

"Un, watch me knock them down."

Gutter ball.

"Senpai, you suck at bowling." Tobi replied.

_"Shut up un! Sasori, you 're next."_

Fusing the ball with his charka strings, he got a strike." Way to go master Sasori." cheered Tobi.

"I bet you cheated Sasori danna." Deidara grumbled.

"I'm next." said Kisame.

Getting a spare.

"Hidan, you're up."

The Jashin follower tripped and slid down the aisle, hitting the pins." Someone get him." Pain ordered.

"I'm on it." Kakazu used his limbs and pulled Hidan off to his feet," Are you a idiot?"

"Tobi's next."

He got a strike." Did you see that senpai? I got a strike!"

"Hoorah." Deidara deadpanned," Who's next un?"

"I'm next." said Itachi.

_Things went from bad to worse for Deidara...who came in dead last, next to Zetsu who argued with himself whether or not to throw the ball. And there were explosions. Deidara destroyed the bowling alley and they walked home._

_"Best night ever." _cheered Kisame.


	4. We're going to Crazy Carl's

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

"Another dull evening un." Deidara replied." We should do something un." seeing Kisame flipping through the channels, skipping by a advertisement that caught Deidara's eye."Kisame, go back."

"Hello friends, crazy Carl here, tired of staying home with nothing to do? Well, grab the family and come on down to CrazyLand where you're sure to have a good time."

Deidara turned off the T.V. " I know where that place is un."

* * *

"This is it?" Pain asked," A ma and pa owned theme park?"

"Prices are cheap, I like it." Kakazu replied.

"I still say we should-" began Hidan." Shut up Hidan." barked Kakazu.

"Okay , okay."

Walking over to the ticket booth, a woman with a name tag that read JANE smiled," with your group you get the group discount." giving them paper bracelets.

"What ride should we get on first?" Konan asked.

"Tobi wants to get on "Crazy Legs" with Deidara senpai."

Deidara nodded," For once I want to go with you Tobi." making the masked man's day." You mean it senpai?" hugging him.

"Let's go Tobi."

The rest followed. Pain with Konan. Itachi and Kisame. Hidan and Kakazu. Sasori with Zetsu.

Everyone enjoying themselves..._almost. _Pain clenched his eyes shut," Is it over?"

"Peiny, are you okay?" Konan asked concerned.

"I'm fine Konan." he gave a fake smile.

* * *

"That was fun!" cheered Tobi," what ride shall we go on next?"

"The ferris wheel?" Sasori suggested.

Pain shuddered, but didn't want his crew to know he was terrified of heights." Let's go."

Tobi marched like a marionette." How are you doing that un?" Deidara inquired.

"Tobi had practice senpai."

Again the usual pairing as the Akatsuki boarded the ride. Pain whimpering the entire ride.

"Peiny, nothing will happen." Konan assured him.

"Is it over yet?"

"_Oh Painy..."_

Getting off," We should go to the Tilt a whirl. I saw it down below." said Itachi.

"This I can handle." Pain stated.

His announcement got their attention." Leader, you're not scared are you?"

"No! of course not!" lying through his teeth.

"Alright. Let's go."

* * *

"_Wheee! This is fun!" _cheered Tobi." Yeah un!" Deidara sticking his tongue out and doing the horned gesture.

Pain grimaced during the entire ride.

"I don't think leader is enjoying himself." Itachi stated.

"Really?" asked Kisame." Everyone else is."

"_Whooo! Fuck yeah! "_

The ride ended," Let's go again! Let's go again!" they refused to get off.

Pain suffered silently while his team mates had a good time.

"What's next?" Sasori asked with a smile on his face.

"...Oh! The roller coaster!"

"...No..." Pain whispered, his eyes bulged.

**This chapter came from a idea Jojo3110 had...thanks Jo Jo!^^**


	5. We're going to the aquarium

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

"Guys," said Kisame," why don't we go to the aquarium at the zoo?"

"The aquarium huh?" repeated his comrade and friend Itachi," A good idea."

"Sounds lame." snorted Hidan.

Itachi glared at him, activating his sharingan.

"It's his birthday and we're going." Itachi insisted." Fine." the others reculantily agreed. Except Tobi.

* * *

"Here we are." said Pein." Konan and I will pay the admission."

"Thank you Itachi for talking the others to come."Kisame said appreciately.

"No problem pal."

Konan and Pein returned," Let's go."

"What would you like to look at first Kisame?" asked Konan.

"The sharks." he sang.

"Of course un." Deidara deadpanned.

* * *

"Senpai, look at the hammerhead." said Tobi," guess why the shark got his name."

"Yeah un."

Semi bored Sasori saw a shark wrangler in the shark tank," Kisame, a female is in the tank."

"Aw yeah! A shark wrangler!"

"What does she do?" asked the redhead.

"In a nutshell Sasori, she works with sharks." Kisame informed him.

Sasori slowly nodded, smirking at the sight of Tobi clinging to Deidara," The shark was eyeing me senpai! He wants to eat me!"

Deidara had a vision of Tobi being chased by a shark.

"Senpai?...senpai...what are you thinking about?" Tobi asked.

"Hmm? Nothing."

"Let's go look at the tropical fish next." Kisame suggested.

* * *

"Look at the pretty fish senpai."

"They are colorful un."

"They're all prettier than Kakazu." Hidan joked." I'm right here Hidan."

A argument broke between them.

"Enough!" ordered Pein," Behave." scolding them.

"He started it."

Pein deadpanned," What am I? Your mother? We were forced to come here and let's try to have a good time."

"What was that?" Kisame shrilled, his hand on his samehada.

Pein gulped," Now Kisame, don't get any ideas. I'm your leader."


	6. Party Crashers

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing.

"Kabuto," said Orochimaru," help me clean up the place."

_Earlier that day..._

"Another uneventful evening un." Deidara whined." Stop complaining brat. Something will come to mind." Sasori stated.

"I know un."

_Time ticked by..._

_"I got it! We could crash a party un!"_

Sasori blinked," we don't know anyone throwing a party."

"We do too un! Orochimaru is throwing one for Kabuto, he does this every year." said Itachi.

Pein nodded," All those in favor to crash Orochimaru's birthday bash for Kabuto raise your hands."

Everyone voted and it was unmainious.

"Alright, we're going to Orochimaru's." said Pein.

* * *

"There it is dead ahead," said Pein," Deidara, get us down."

The bird disappeared in a cloud of smoke as the ten Akatsuki members approached the lair of their former comrade.

"Spread out and be careful." instructed Pein.

Tobi grabbed hold of Deidara's arm," Tobi is scared of the dark."

"Let go un! And there are torches you know." grabbing one," Come in un."

Tobi cheered.

"Sasori, you go with Zetsu.," said Pein," The others will be with your usual partners."

"Understood," said the rest of the group.

* * *

"Deidara senpai," Tobi has found Orochimaru and Kabuto." whispering.

"Good un, now let's tell the others un," said Deidara.

Orochimaru glanced at his former team mates," How did you two find me?"

"We knew we will be here celebrating Kabuto's birthday," Deidara replied.

"I see." said the pale man with a fetish for snakes.

"Now that we are here, let's summon the others." said the blonde male.

* * *

Orochimaru sat in his chair bored as the Akatuski were drinking.

"This is not how I envisioned your birthday."

"Oh come on lord Orochimaru, "said Kabuto," let them enjoy themselves."

"Hidan, you had enough for one day."

"Fuck you Kakazu!" hiccupped the Jashin follower.

Itachi and Kisame were passed out.

Konan was rubbing Pein's back as he threw up. And someone had smeared paint on the walls.

Orochimaru had a good idea who. The artist had left a symbol of his mask.

Counting to ten and reaching his limit, Orochimaru kicked them out.

Looking at his most trusted confidante ," Help me clean up."


End file.
